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Ana Asli Men OSKOTLANDA

Hot sunny sweaty day in Beirut. Let’s see : you’re walking in the street, screwing the day you were born in this freaking country.

 W dejjjj, you bump into an old high school friend.

Regarding  the physical appearance change, nothing to report besides her big brown eyes that now are BLUE :/

She starts talking to you, in English, or French, or ZULU. Anything but Lebanese Arabic.

But you grew up together, and you remember very well that she used to speak Lebanese : @ home, @ school, everywhere… So why the hekk is she speaking  French ?! In fact she has never left Lebanon her entire life !

You ask her a question in Lebanese, trying to refresh her memory, to bring her back to this native land called Lebanon. She replies in BRITISH this time !

For a second, a great sentence comes to your mind “YA BENET EL KLEB, TOOL 3OMRIK WARA EL BA2AR”,  but you end up finishing this multilingual conversation, and going on your way; sunny sweaty day in Beirut…

Clickofyourlife®                                                                                                                

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WEIRD, but true…

No matter how old, how intelligent, how rich, how much popular you are, you’ve certainly been asked by your inner self about these facts, unfortunately disturbing but I consider them as the obstacles of life:

Why are all YouTube sensations kids or idiots? Or idiot kids?

In soccer games, when a player scores, why does he go crazy and celebrate as if he won the freaking lottery or the war?

Why the hell is there a show with Mariam Nour as the presentator?

An all time hobby is to show people their new born baby and brag about how cute he is, sorry but he looks like a rat, honestly!

When in movies, I wonder how the man manages to discover the laser of a rifle pointing at his head, very cheap baby…

Diarrhea, the sworn enemy of mankind, finds its way into the backdoor of our body, knocking heavily to go out, causing bulky roars and pain, especially in  the most important and crucial moments of life ! TRUESTORY

A constant word used in literally 90% of song lyrics is “baby”, personally I don’t mind it, I use it in my everyday life, but one thing that got me concerned and blow me away every time I hear it is “lose control” or “losing control”, seriously ?

Apparently most of the artists sing about themselves losing control when it actually means “To become deranged or mentally disturbed” – thank you very much for the dictionary

 

This is my personal ” do not ask why life is weird” list, feel free to add your lists so we can mention them in later posts.

By Clickofyourlife®

WHO ARE THEY ??!

Whatever the time, the season, the lime, the reason.

No matter what is happening, they are always there.

Dabke Dancers on Cornish Beirut. As you drive nearby, you hear a loud louuuddd noise, apparently music ,and  as every human being, you try to find the source. Once you found it, you’ll notice a group (2-3 up to 19) of talented dancers, holding their hands and practicing the traditional lebanese dance; right there, in front of everyone.

The first couple of seconds you won’t believe what you’re seeing. What are they doing? Is all this a joke ? It doesn’t seem like that! Look at their smiles, their passion, their coherence.

Maybe we are wrong, and they are right !

Maybe dancing besides the sea give you limitless power. Maybe they are the consequence of global warming . Maybe maybe…..

  So who are they after all  ?

Are they aliens trying to communicate with us? Or warn us ?

Are they angels sent from above ? To teach us about true love ?

Can we classify them as UNESCO Cultural Heritage ?

All we know is that if one day they are not there, there’s something wrong with the universe.  

                                                                                                                                                                                                         Clickofyourlife®

16 Awful Inventions We’ll Probably See This Decade !

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Go and see the remaining 11 ===> http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_201_16-awful-inventions-well-probably-see-this-decade/

¡ÁNDALE! ¡ARRIBA! ¡ARRIBA!

A topic that we heard about billions of times , but at the same time it can’t be skipped. Two words : Latin-American series (two or three ?!)

So, let’s begin : according to Boogle, a TV series is a ‘TV program that is intended to be broadcasted as a finite number of episodes’.

STOPPPPP RIGHT THERE !!! “Finite” ?! ARE YOU SURE ?!

Okay so we are going to control every negative emotion regarding this “mistake” so we can proceed peacefully.

Clickofyourlife is going to make its own definition of Latin-American series.

It is an Infinite number of episodes  having the same story every time :

…A wise Latin macho from the province by the name of  Lutchanio  falls in love with the beautiful  Botkalinda, daughter of the governor. After a horse accident, he becomes blind, and gets lost in the tropical forest, and he seeks his way back following the smell of his horse’s shhh and the directions of Timon+Pumba. Meanwhile, Botkalinda discovers that her father is actually her mother, and vice versa.  Her grandmother turns out to be the Lochness monster.

Let’s skip to the end : Lutchiano has regained his vision, he is riding a unicorn on the beach, Botkalinda is holding him tight    (happiness tears seen in the waves: dont try this at home).What he’s going to discover later tonight, is that Botkalinda is his brother .

KIDS : STAY AWAY OF DRUGS AND LATIN SERIES.

Ps: the pic was taken the same day.

                                                                                                                    Clickofyourlife®

A big yellow taxi took my girl away

To begin, for some of you clickers that aren’t familiar with Lebanese cab drivers here’s a little definition. A Lebanese cab driver is a person that doesn’t stop talking about every detail in the universe, that doesn’t stop criticizing the world around it, and is a pimp (he tells you that). So as soon as you’re in a cab, the driver is permanently in control of everything you listen to or think about.

Nonetheless, there are some exceptions of course, but you clickers must be warned from those I’m talking about, because when they get in a fight (in Lebanon there’s a high possibility of violence) it’s going to be very awkward, so clickofyourlife made a list for you to follow when this happens:

Stay still and hold your breath till you die (if the driver comes back alive he won’t stop yelling about his accomplishments).

Open the door and run (there’s a fifty fifty chance to succeed in your runaway).

NO, don’t go out and help him, he’s not worth the karate class you took.

If you were too afraid to run you can walk (you can apply here the “don’t talk to a stranger” routine)

If you stood still, and he came back from the fight, do not, I repeat do not make eye contact, a normal cab driver takes 30 to 45 minutes to come back to his senses, instead offer him a cigarette.

 Notice that the car is the most important and beautiful thing in the driver’s life (if you’re asking, no it’s not a nice car) so please do give compliments about it but stop the minute your nose begins to grow.

If he gets violent with you, use a taser, if you don’t have one use your hand or elbow they can be painful.

By Clickofyourlife®

T-SHIRTS

Common, cheap, easy to wear item of clothing that doubles as a dangerous karmic loophole for people who want to share their misguided views with the world, but lack the courage to get a tattoo.

Rest of the article @ http://www.cracked.com/funny-4796-t-shirts/