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Category Archives: Top Rated

Lebanon should be a no man’s land

This is one of many article about why Lebanon should be a no man’s land, despite the corruption, the hate, the controversy, the shallowness, we try to move on and live.
But just as soon as winter comes, and people start preparing themselves for the cozy bed, and the sweet hot chocolate (with marshmallow), mother nature sprouts us with slippery streets, wet shoes, and floods coming out of everywhere.
Now if you were in a normal country, those obstacles wouldn’t be a problem, the municipality or the government would’ve managed to ease your way into the streets, on the other hand, when you’re a peaceful Lebanese citizen on your way to work or school, you encounter dangerous threats that may affect your life in a bad way, as per instance the sewers are all leaking, an ocean of human waste (mostly crap) are ravaging the pavements, the streets are drowning, you will be needing a canoe to cross, you can’t even help yourself with the umbrella because the wind is trying to steal it from you.

I sincerely would prefer to stay home all winter, and keep Lebanon a no man’s land.

We seriously need help making our streets a better place.

It always happens !

Ana Asli Men OSKOTLANDA

Hot sunny sweaty day in Beirut. Let’s see : you’re walking in the street, screwing the day you were born in this freaking country.

 W dejjjj, you bump into an old high school friend.

Regarding  the physical appearance change, nothing to report besides her big brown eyes that now are BLUE :/

She starts talking to you, in English, or French, or ZULU. Anything but Lebanese Arabic.

But you grew up together, and you remember very well that she used to speak Lebanese : @ home, @ school, everywhere… So why the hekk is she speaking  French ?! In fact she has never left Lebanon her entire life !

You ask her a question in Lebanese, trying to refresh her memory, to bring her back to this native land called Lebanon. She replies in BRITISH this time !

For a second, a great sentence comes to your mind “YA BENET EL KLEB, TOOL 3OMRIK WARA EL BA2AR”,  but you end up finishing this multilingual conversation, and going on your way; sunny sweaty day in Beirut…

Clickofyourlife®                                                                                                                

WEIRD, but true…

No matter how old, how intelligent, how rich, how much popular you are, you’ve certainly been asked by your inner self about these facts, unfortunately disturbing but I consider them as the obstacles of life:

Why are all YouTube sensations kids or idiots? Or idiot kids?

In soccer games, when a player scores, why does he go crazy and celebrate as if he won the freaking lottery or the war?

Why the hell is there a show with Mariam Nour as the presentator?

An all time hobby is to show people their new born baby and brag about how cute he is, sorry but he looks like a rat, honestly!

When in movies, I wonder how the man manages to discover the laser of a rifle pointing at his head, very cheap baby…

Diarrhea, the sworn enemy of mankind, finds its way into the backdoor of our body, knocking heavily to go out, causing bulky roars and pain, especially in  the most important and crucial moments of life ! TRUESTORY

A constant word used in literally 90% of song lyrics is “baby”, personally I don’t mind it, I use it in my everyday life, but one thing that got me concerned and blow me away every time I hear it is “lose control” or “losing control”, seriously ?

Apparently most of the artists sing about themselves losing control when it actually means “To become deranged or mentally disturbed” – thank you very much for the dictionary

 

This is my personal ” do not ask why life is weird” list, feel free to add your lists so we can mention them in later posts.

By Clickofyourlife®

¡ÁNDALE! ¡ARRIBA! ¡ARRIBA!

A topic that we heard about billions of times , but at the same time it can’t be skipped. Two words : Latin-American series (two or three ?!)

So, let’s begin : according to Boogle, a TV series is a ‘TV program that is intended to be broadcasted as a finite number of episodes’.

STOPPPPP RIGHT THERE !!! “Finite” ?! ARE YOU SURE ?!

Okay so we are going to control every negative emotion regarding this “mistake” so we can proceed peacefully.

Clickofyourlife is going to make its own definition of Latin-American series.

It is an Infinite number of episodes  having the same story every time :

…A wise Latin macho from the province by the name of  Lutchanio  falls in love with the beautiful  Botkalinda, daughter of the governor. After a horse accident, he becomes blind, and gets lost in the tropical forest, and he seeks his way back following the smell of his horse’s shhh and the directions of Timon+Pumba. Meanwhile, Botkalinda discovers that her father is actually her mother, and vice versa.  Her grandmother turns out to be the Lochness monster.

Let’s skip to the end : Lutchiano has regained his vision, he is riding a unicorn on the beach, Botkalinda is holding him tight    (happiness tears seen in the waves: dont try this at home).What he’s going to discover later tonight, is that Botkalinda is his brother .

KIDS : STAY AWAY OF DRUGS AND LATIN SERIES.

Ps: the pic was taken the same day.

                                                                                                                    Clickofyourlife®

THE LIP TRICK IN EVERY PIC

Technology, a sweet concept created to help us progress and be motivated for a better tomorrow, brought picture takers called nowadays “the camera”.

This machine can capture beautiful panoramic views to hideous meaningless so called pieces of art that I rather call pieces of shhh (as seen in the previous article “ARTISTS HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE”)

However, I call this wonderful machine the memory holder, whether it held the most ravishing souvenir or a bitter one.

In the meantime, I couldn’t help myself to notice the fact that 99.99% of girls do the lip trick in every single picture. AND IT’S SO ANNOYING!

This trick consists of pulling your lips to the front as if you are about to kiss and here you have it, congratulations you look like a chimpanzee (with all sincere respect to the chimpanzee).

Therefore, this trick may be accompanied by several side gestures, like per instance the hand doing a peace sign, or even the eyes frowning.

What’s the deal here? Is it appealing? NO

Is it attractive? HELL NO

As far as I’m concerned, there’s a certain gap between the feminine gender members who perform this trick and rational behaving.

I’m not asking much, but a little smile can change the whole concept!

By Clickofyourlife®

Weird habits

When someone asks me to give him a synonym of “life” I tell him “competition”, life dear reader is a magical game where you are the player, you choose whether to succeed or to stay on the same spot.

Nonetheless, we people manage to have different attitudes and habits which help us achieve goals.

All of the above was a filthy introduction for my main topic here, the weird habits people conceive to make things easier for them… or not.

When living an everyday life surrounded by a lot of people of different cultures and social levels, you secretly notice awkward and funny details that you ignore but actually these details tend to have a critical influence on the course of life.

To begin, can someone please tell me why does a rational human being grow his pinky nail?

Is it a secret sign for an international secret organization to help secret members recognize each other secretly?

Is it the latest trend?

Is it a weapon? A pet?

A lot of possible answers come to my mind, but I know I’m missing something here; however holders of the grown pinky nail use this gadget to scratch, to pick their nose or ear, to open cans and doors or even to write.

Another habit is the usage of a key for several purposes other than to open doors, per instance stabbing it in your ear to get rid of the itchy dirt (it is long and effective we admit it), or using it in fights as a weapon of mass destruction (works pretty well after sticking it into your ear).

Last but not least, the most undercover habit, the most effective ice breaker, the most powerful tool for a high social background, yes, we’re talking about the look.

The look has the same principle for all lookers (people who use the look), you squeeze your eyes real hard you can barely see, you develop the deadly staring routine which encloses staring at the maximum number of individuals without them noticing you staring, and you try doing another activity at the same time like walking, talking or breathing (I know it’s hard).

This my friends is a winning habit that has been proved to us from the dawn of times, the prehistoric man who discovered fire gave the look, medieval warriors also did, as well as Chuck Norris.

So a big thank you to those people who are giving us tips for a better living.

                                                                                                                                By Clickofyourlife®

WHY ME, FKN MOSQUITO, WHY ?

Resting, sleeping, dreaming, you can’t ask for more than that. Sleeping is so perfect that you’re even smiling.             Aah, I love Life !

And then, out of nowhere, the sound of a nearby mosquito passing by; you wake up, but you are so tired that you remain in your position, you don’t even open your eyes.

You start thinking : that’s only a lost mosquito, or the bug is just passing through my room, let’s not rush things. zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZ, oh shit! The damn creature must have noticed me.

After the first contact, you try hoplessly to frighten the intruder by moving your hand forming an imaginary circle above your head. This will work, but it is a temporary precaution ( temporary as in 5-10 seconds).

Years have proven that eventually you’ll have to wake up, turn on the light, and do a semi-conscious search of the enemy. Right here right now, luck and experience will have their important role.

People are still wondering why did Noah save mosquitoes, those freaking disturbing little flying machines from “Insomnianistan”…

                                                                                                                                                    Clickofyourlife®