To begin, for some of you clickers that aren’t familiar with Lebanese cab drivers here’s a little definition. A Lebanese cab driver is a person that doesn’t stop talking about every detail in the universe, that doesn’t stop criticizing the world around it, and is a pimp (he tells you that). So as soon as you’re in a cab, the driver is permanently in control of everything you listen to or think about.
Nonetheless, there are some exceptions of course, but you clickers must be warned from those I’m talking about, because when they get in a fight (in Lebanon there’s a high possibility of violence) it’s going to be very awkward, so clickofyourlife made a list for you to follow when this happens:
Stay still and hold your breath till you die (if the driver comes back alive he won’t stop yelling about his accomplishments).
Open the door and run (there’s a fifty fifty chance to succeed in your runaway).
NO, don’t go out and help him, he’s not worth the karate class you took.
If you were too afraid to run you can walk (you can apply here the “don’t talk to a stranger” routine)
If you stood still, and he came back from the fight, do not, I repeat do not make eye contact, a normal cab driver takes 30 to 45 minutes to come back to his senses, instead offer him a cigarette.
Notice that the car is the most important and beautiful thing in the driver’s life (if you’re asking, no it’s not a nice car) so please do give compliments about it but stop the minute your nose begins to grow.
If he gets violent with you, use a taser, if you don’t have one use your hand or elbow they can be painful.