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Monthly Archives: February 2011

¡ÁNDALE! ¡ARRIBA! ¡ARRIBA!

A topic that we heard about billions of times , but at the same time it can’t be skipped. Two words : Latin-American series (two or three ?!)

So, let’s begin : according to Boogle, a TV series is a ‘TV program that is intended to be broadcasted as a finite number of episodes’.

STOPPPPP RIGHT THERE !!! “Finite” ?! ARE YOU SURE ?!

Okay so we are going to control every negative emotion regarding this “mistake” so we can proceed peacefully.

Clickofyourlife is going to make its own definition of Latin-American series.

It is an Infinite number of episodes  having the same story every time :

…A wise Latin macho from the province by the name of  Lutchanio  falls in love with the beautiful  Botkalinda, daughter of the governor. After a horse accident, he becomes blind, and gets lost in the tropical forest, and he seeks his way back following the smell of his horse’s shhh and the directions of Timon+Pumba. Meanwhile, Botkalinda discovers that her father is actually her mother, and vice versa.  Her grandmother turns out to be the Lochness monster.

Let’s skip to the end : Lutchiano has regained his vision, he is riding a unicorn on the beach, Botkalinda is holding him tight    (happiness tears seen in the waves: dont try this at home).What he’s going to discover later tonight, is that Botkalinda is his brother .

KIDS : STAY AWAY OF DRUGS AND LATIN SERIES.

Ps: the pic was taken the same day.

                                                                                                                    Clickofyourlife®

A big yellow taxi took my girl away

To begin, for some of you clickers that aren’t familiar with Lebanese cab drivers here’s a little definition. A Lebanese cab driver is a person that doesn’t stop talking about every detail in the universe, that doesn’t stop criticizing the world around it, and is a pimp (he tells you that). So as soon as you’re in a cab, the driver is permanently in control of everything you listen to or think about.

Nonetheless, there are some exceptions of course, but you clickers must be warned from those I’m talking about, because when they get in a fight (in Lebanon there’s a high possibility of violence) it’s going to be very awkward, so clickofyourlife made a list for you to follow when this happens:

Stay still and hold your breath till you die (if the driver comes back alive he won’t stop yelling about his accomplishments).

Open the door and run (there’s a fifty fifty chance to succeed in your runaway).

NO, don’t go out and help him, he’s not worth the karate class you took.

If you were too afraid to run you can walk (you can apply here the “don’t talk to a stranger” routine)

If you stood still, and he came back from the fight, do not, I repeat do not make eye contact, a normal cab driver takes 30 to 45 minutes to come back to his senses, instead offer him a cigarette.

 Notice that the car is the most important and beautiful thing in the driver’s life (if you’re asking, no it’s not a nice car) so please do give compliments about it but stop the minute your nose begins to grow.

If he gets violent with you, use a taser, if you don’t have one use your hand or elbow they can be painful.

By Clickofyourlife®

T-SHIRTS

Common, cheap, easy to wear item of clothing that doubles as a dangerous karmic loophole for people who want to share their misguided views with the world, but lack the courage to get a tattoo.

Rest of the article @ http://www.cracked.com/funny-4796-t-shirts/

TV CHANNEL CRUISE

  LETTER TO MY FELLOW CLICKERS

             Find your TV remote control. Turn on the device.

Now before the next step, you might get a black screen, because as we all know, in Lebleb, if it’s raining, no satellite transmission, if there’s an eagle or even a pigeon standing on the wire, no transmission. & if your neighbor just sneezed, same result. (Clickers have been notified)

As for now, everything is running according to your plan of an afternoon relaxation. So you get to choose a station (wisely please) :

1 Two Saudi sport experts are talking about a soccer game that happened last season. They are dissecting every single second of the 90 played minutes. Of course on the studio table, is sitting with them a former European player, hungry for $’s.

2-  On a local TV station, a local kids show is celebrating a local kid’s birthday. The staff is disguised in horrifying  smiling creatures from another planet, the humble kid is frightened to death, wishing he was never born. As a gift, they offer him a soap :S .  

3-   A spot is running. Well it’s about an illiterate self considered herbs expert, climbing mountains, chasing trains, cliff jumping to get a zero efficiency herb for his beloved patients. National hero!

4-  What about the never-ending South American series that we are going to publish a whole post on it later on.

5-  Oh, there it is. That’s a very good movie, I heard that it was nominated for several Oscars; you lie down satisfied, victorious. But what you don’t know is that the movie is going to end in 2 bloody minutes ( if not, your neighbor will sneeze again) ((if not, something else will happen)).

                                                                                                                                                                                                   Good luck !

                                                                                                                                                              Clickofyourlife®

THE LIP TRICK IN EVERY PIC

Technology, a sweet concept created to help us progress and be motivated for a better tomorrow, brought picture takers called nowadays “the camera”.

This machine can capture beautiful panoramic views to hideous meaningless so called pieces of art that I rather call pieces of shhh (as seen in the previous article “ARTISTS HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE”)

However, I call this wonderful machine the memory holder, whether it held the most ravishing souvenir or a bitter one.

In the meantime, I couldn’t help myself to notice the fact that 99.99% of girls do the lip trick in every single picture. AND IT’S SO ANNOYING!

This trick consists of pulling your lips to the front as if you are about to kiss and here you have it, congratulations you look like a chimpanzee (with all sincere respect to the chimpanzee).

Therefore, this trick may be accompanied by several side gestures, like per instance the hand doing a peace sign, or even the eyes frowning.

What’s the deal here? Is it appealing? NO

Is it attractive? HELL NO

As far as I’m concerned, there’s a certain gap between the feminine gender members who perform this trick and rational behaving.

I’m not asking much, but a little smile can change the whole concept!

By Clickofyourlife®

ARTISTS HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE

Estimated world population: approximately 7 billion. Half of them are… Okay let’s see 7/2= 3.5 (some clickers really need this calculus explanation).

Let’s get back to our point == > nearly 3.5 billions actually consider themselves ARTISTS. I won’t toss this idea around in my head and I’ll get directly to the simplest example : PHOTOGRAPHERS.

 

You got me right, I’m talking about those people that picture a fork fallen on the ground, counting it as a piece of art.

Or those who take pictures of their shoe laces in contrast with the grass, or the living room chandelier through an empty transparent cup, or the corner of a building with a white cloud above (clouds are very popular), or a sandwich in a plate, and the list goes on and on …

All you need is a good-resolution camera, lack of imagination and some free time, and you can join the freelance photographers group!

So what are the real photographers opinions ?  I mean the man picturing a volcano about to erupt, or the lady shooting photos of polar bears in the North Pole, or the lucky person who just caught a shark jumping over water in the middle of the Pacific.

The Clickofyourlife team showed some so called artists pics to the professionals, these are some reactions:

– “If only the polar bear ate me before I see this”

-“OMG, your joking right ? What the f***><” before he jumped off the balcony.

-“I wish I was born a bat, you know bats are blind”

-“Just give me his address, PLEASE, I will **** ** **** out of him, the ***”

-“But,” Then he started bleeding from his eyes.

  Clickofyourlife®

The 5 Most Widely Believed WWII Facts (That Are Bullshit)

Looking back in history, wars were a pure turning points, from the crusades to the Vietnam war, sadly people are meant to die to stand against tyranny, somehow due to media, know facts about world war 2 are wrong, lets check them out:

1- America Won the War Single-Handedly

Claimed by : Hollywood , WWII-shooters, Cold War politics and chauvinists.

Sixty years of World War II movies, and a decade of WWII video games, have made one thing clear: If it wasn’t for America, you’d all be speaking German right now, baby!


 

 

 2-Winston Churchill Was the Universally Beloved Leader of the Good Guys

Claimed by Biographers, [English] historians, skewed opinion polls and people who have never heard of British Raj.

 

 3- If The Nazis Had Just _________, Germany Would Have Won The War

Claimed by just about everybody.

The idea is that Nazi Germany was a military juggernaut for a brief period in the 40s, and that the entire planet would have collapsed if it wasn’t for one or two minor blunders.

 

 4-Hitler Was an Evil Genius

Claimed by The [Alternate] History Channel , Nazi admirers, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.

Hitler, in addition to being the go-to example in every bad debate, has sort of become history’s supervillain. Hitler was the Lex Luthor to the non-Aryan Superman.

 

 5-FDR Knew About Pearl Harbor Ahead of Time

Claimed by Conspiracy theorists, amateur historians, political opponents and The Freaking History Channel.

Allegedly President Franklin D. Roosevelt had advance knowledge about the Japanese plan to attack Pearl Harbor, and deliberately let it happen so that Congress would declare war against Japan and Germany.

 

Check out Why it’s all Bullshit on http://www.cracked.com/article_18389_the-5-most-widely-believed-wwii-facts-that-are-bullshit.html?wa_user1=1&wa_user2=History&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=flashback